floating and leaving no trace
feeling emptied out
and useless
as in the definition
to be of no use
without merit
someone spin the
prayer wheel
i don’t know which
sutra is printed
on it
but hopefully
it helps
sandalwood and amber resin
enough to make you sleepy
enough to make your heart
roll like a baseball
in your empty rib cage
om shanti shanti shanti
(here kitty kitty kitty)
if you were to survive
falling into a black hole
the experts tell us
–and by experts i mean
neil degrasse tyson–
you would be spaghetti-fied
stretched from the edge
of the even horizon
all the way to the center
of that dark star
it might take forever
to reach the singularity
and who knows if you would feel it
pain is information
and information stays stuck
on the inside of horizon
and time stands still
or seems to
on the outside edge
all my assumptions
about you
are just hawking radiation
boiling out into space
maintaining a screwed up
sense of equilibrium
we can’t make contracts
with the devil
to prevent the heat death
of the universe
we’re already rushing away
from ourselves at the speed
of light
something gentle as rain
falls on us
something like grace
something like whispers
it patters and puddles
at our feet
spreading like shadows
spreading like sunrise
our pockets are filled
with crumbs
maybe from cookies
maybe from cakes
we leave the umbrellas
unopened
we leave the coats
at home
——
words gripping mallets
my rib cage a xylophone
you make my bones sing
the backs of my teeth
are rough
rough enough to make
my tongue tip bleed
from brushing against
them
it’s too bad because
i had so much to say
and now blood
dribbles down my chin
when i try to speak
you ask
what did you do to get
the backs of your teeth
so screwed up
i tell you through
lips coated in pink
froth
it was the words
that hammered against them
while i clenched my jaw
held my peace
the acid of every word
i forced myself to swallow
staining them
eating away at them
making them sharp
and hollow
like dead coral
of course since we are in the business
of promoting the public good
we believe in complete transparency
no no no–i don’t mean full disclosure
whatever gave you that idea
our secrets are our own and we
will gut you and your family to keep
from exposing them to the light of day
it’s not as if we want you to die in a fire
but there it is and there you are
by transparency we mean that we are in
the business of taking on the role of your
parents guardians in absentia as it were
guiding you molding you and turning you
into us because we’re the public
and that’s good
we don’t shiver under the sea
not because we aren’t cold
not because we aren’t afraid
but ocean pressure is
the warmth of a hand without fingers
——
huddle closer to me
ask me to tell you
everything’s
going to be all right
i do
though i have doubts
of my own grabbing at my feet
though every step
is made on
shifting tectonic plates
each the size of my heart
each the size of my life
no physical clocks
in the house anymore
only digital trance mediums
monsters that communicate
silently with satellites
no ticking to mark the time
but still
the earth shifts
but still
the earth turns
i huddle closer to you
and tell you
i will be your
earthquake insurance
watch the monkey
climb down from the tree
see him smile
displaying sharp canines
/what a ridiculous
name for a tooth
in a monkey’s mouth/
and climb into his porsche
to make up for his
pinkie-sized monkeyhood
he’s got a meeting
in hollywood
in forty minutes
the freeway
is gonna clear for him
and if it doesn’t
he’ll throw more
shit than is possible
for his tiny simian body
to produce in a year
at the other
freeway monkeys
trees shaken by breezes
in summer when shadows
are crisp
in fall
when clouds hide
our other selves
books opened
favored passages
corners dog-eared
your love
in spring when belief
is easy
in winter when the leaves
are moldy memories stuck
to shoes
——
Words and Feathers 