after the job went
the apartment was next
and we were praying that
the security deposit would
come back to us
because we were out of money
you stayed at the new place
the cheaper place
with the loud, scary neighbors
and the kids
and warned them not to run across the floor
because we were now upstairs
and we were better than
every upstairs tenant
we ever lived beneath
and i stay at the old place
doing a last cleanup
feeling sick with exhaustion and failure
and i bought two off-brand mountain dew sodas
from a vending machine
in front of our old albertsons
and drank them both so fast
my stomach cramped
and i couldn’t catch my breath
while i dripped with sweat
and fought back tears
because it was my fault we had to leave.
