we collected teeth along the shore
hey la, hey la, hey la
a necklace shiny and bright made we
hey la, hey la, hey la
a night and forever its length you wore
hey la, hey la, hey la
as i spoke with the voice of the sea
hey la, hey la, hey la
the moon shines pale upon your breast
hey la, hey la, hey la
now for eternity we are dressed
hey la, hey la, hey la
Captivating form; I read the odd numbered lines alone to catch the symbolism of it all (not sure that I fully did) – love the line ‘as i spoke with the voice of the sea’. Your writing always makes me sigh with a desire to be a better poet. Ever inspired by your work, my feathered friend!
Thank you very much for your kind words. I’m glad to be an inspiration.
Fun!! I actually grooved with the rhythm. Kinda reminds me of “Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster the People. Cool beats that no one initially knew was about shooting folks. Twisted but pulsated like crazy.
You ought to sing it. Make a little recording.
Lol. You mean a gruesome recording? I don’t sing, but I do enjoy your poetry very much.
I just thought since you were bopping along to the beat, you might have a tune in mind.
I don’t sing either, except to the radio.
Like this, as usual unexpected images and direction. At first the “hey la” sounded like Native American chanting, but now I can get sort of a Middle English era ring to it. A Shepard to his love et. al.
Thank you. I was hoping for a Poe vibe, though it’s probably not moody enough.
Well goes without saying since this is from you, a dark, morbid sort of Middle English sonnet vibe. No shortage!
No shortage of Poe vibe! Meant to say a dark, morbid Middle English era ring to it.
Love it – words and foot-tapping rhythm!
Thank you! Toe-tapping is good.
Your words paint a beautiful picture. However, I get a feeling this relationship didn’t end well – being dressed for an eternity speaks of an early death to me.
It is a little bit Annabelle Lee.
It certainly is, now I’ve read that as well.