these rooms overflow, voices ringing with laughter
i too let my voice, a small bell, ring with laughter
but it’s false and hollow in my ears, fakery
of the worst kind. they watch me, ringing with laughter
because they see inside, they smell the rot of me
their noses wrinkle, their throats catch, stifled laughter
ah, if only i could slip away unseen now
then they could resume, a profound choir of laughter
but i stay where i am, eyes on my back, my neck
cadaver cold, waiting for the end of laughter
10 thoughts on “everybody’s happy (20160819)”
Nice Poem 🙂
Thank you and thanks for visiting!
It is a good poem, and I love the laughter of the refrain. You’re not alone in ignoring the rhyme scheme. Was it intentional, or is that one of the rules you overlooked? I ask because so many of you have missed out the rhyme.
I didn’t know there was another rhyme. I went to Shadow Poetry and followed their example. I don’t know if I would have had it in me to work in a secondary rhyme. 😅
The shadow poetry does actually say there’s an internal rhyme. There are quite a lot of rules, even more if you look at other sites, so I can see why that particular one escaped your attention. And yes, it is an absolute bugger to get that rhyme to work!
I love the feel of spontaneity here. Poetry is at its finest with no rules and restrictions, in my opinion. Loved the last stanza.
Thanks so much. This one does have a form, the ghazal. But I think I didn’t get all the rules. I’m just a rule-breaker! 😂
Rule breakers need to be spanked! 😉
Ha ha ha. Now I have to think about other rules I can break.
😀 I’ll get my whip ready!
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