Poem 20160419

how to exorcise devils

things you will need:
-holy water or sacramental wine
-communion wafers
-an extra long rosary
-a choir of angels (optional)

offer the allegedly possessed the host
if they only nibble at it or insist
on spray cheese or peanut butter
you know you are dealing with
a high ranking demon

if they are a minor, you can offer
them holy water to choke down
the dry bread, otherwise the wine
have some for yourself

make a double-ended noose
slip one end around your own neck
and one over the possessed victim’s head
stand back to back
count down from 666

run

if the rosary breaks on both necks
you have failed and should start over
if the noose remains intact around either neck
the demon has been expelled
if the noose remains intact around both necks
you are now married

——

National Poetry Month
NaPoWriMo Day 19
How To

13 thoughts on “Poem 20160419

    1. Crows are not demonic. We’re just opportunistic. But yeah, probably a trap. Just don’t look in any mirrors.

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