floating and leaving no trace
i don’t remember father’s day
with my own fathers
not any of them
today was so hot when i left
the store, i couldn’t see
my eyes closed as if my face
had been shoved into an open
oven
i remember sitting with my father
watching a cartoon
and he laughed so hard
he cried
he wept and wheezed
if something was funny
he couldn’t not laugh at it
yet
i can’t remember
a single father’s day
beyond today
the first left and returned
an oddity
living above with his old music
and porn
seeing his secret girlfriends on the weekends
secret in the sense
that everyone knew about them
the second one stayed for years
though he too was forced out
in the end
though he did nothing wrong
except be kind
and get sick
and play the part of a pawn
the third was a surprise
an adoption
kind and generous
with a sharp wit
and all three gone
Words and Feathers 