like spring
you bring growth in me
burgeoning green shoots
tendrils of pale yellow
reaching for the sun
like summer
you give me the sleepy
hums of insects
the sweet-tart taste of lemonade
and the smell of fresh cut lawns
like autumn
you wrap me in sweaters and coats
you are the gold explosions of leaves
that the wind sets in circular dance
like winter
you give me rest and peace
while darkness overtakes light
still we have this fire
this time, this together
——
Edited on 20160214 to remove that last two stanzas to create a new poem with them. See here.
Charles, am wondering if the last two stanza’s could rest or be developed as a single poem. ‘this time, this together’
feels an appropriate end to a deft four stanzas
Do you mean pull them out and let them stand on their own?
Cause I think I agree. Even when writing it the last two seemed strong enough on their own and maybe out of tone with the rest.
Spot on Charles, there was an abrupt change. It made the previous lyricism lumpy. The last two stanzas show promise but need work
Thanks. I agree the last two were an abrupt change. I appreciate the second set of eyes!
Always welcome Charles.