something something yesterday

hidden from view where i sit
in the sun with the sleepy cat
i hear shouts from young men
playing a game
soccer or volleyball
there are courts nearby
this is not unusual
yet something about the sound
and the color of the sky
hit’s me like a cosmic flyswatter

and i am ten

there
back there i can smell the blue sky
and taste the angry bee-buzz of
remote controlled airplanes
in my mouth like live marbles
the copper penny blood coin
heads up on the sidewalk
under the sole of my bare foot
i am there
it is wet mowed grass summer

and
and
and
my heart feels crushed
when the smell of the man-made lake
reaches me here across all
this time
this ridiculous calendar falsehood
because i am still there.
right there
barefoot in the grass
smelling hot gravel
the alyssum taste of summer
in the back of my throat
but my bones
my bones
taste like old gunpowder